Life. In Light Of Eternity.

Putting Life in Perspective…and writing stories

Archive for the tag “funny”

SnapPost #9 – The aspiring ninja

Some nouns used in this story

Some nouns used in this story

 

So I asked some friends on facebook for some random nouns (underlined in this story) to see what I could come up with as a short story. Let me know what you think!

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This story begins with a unicorn and hippo locked in a epic battle of rock paper scissors. While that in and of itself is a very interesting scene and the story of how the two of them got to that point is equally interesting. But that is not the story to be told right now, this story only begins with them as our hero, an aspiring ninja named Mark, is found staring at their statue. He was on a quest you see. Well…at least he called it a quest. Others called it backpacking. Mostly because he carried a backpack the whole time. A backpack out of which his toothbrush was about to make its escape onto the grass from. But Mark wouldn’t notice as he was to focused on his quest which was to explore this land and to encounter a ninja that he would challenge to battle! Why? Well because as we all know if one can survive a battle with a ninja for longer than three minutes you gain their respect and they will train you. Sadly though he had yet to find a ninja. Which he found strange as his baedeker stated clearly that there were ninja‘s all over this part of the land. Right now all he could see was the man across the street scratching his armpit and throwing a beerbottle into a tree which didn’t break the bottle as it landed safely on the grass. It did however cause a leaf or two to be unsettled. The man then seemed to fall over as if struck by an invisible force, and stood up as if he was preparing for battle.

“Pick up the bottle and throw it away Joe or you will get it again”. A man trimming a  tall bush with his aberuncator a few feet away had yelled the words at Joe. “Alright, alright no need for hostility.” Joe picked up the bottle and threw it in a trash can and stumbled off. A young man stood up from a near by bench and began to stretch. He had a big red pimple on his nose, it was very distracting. “Hey you! What are you looking at?” Mark was busted for staring; “Uh, um not your nose..I mean..Sorry. I’m just looking around for a ninja to battle.” The pimpled young man laughed, “Yeah ok, I tell you what I’ll race you to that building over there with the anchor on it and if you get there first I’ll take you to a ninja.” Mark took his backpack off. “Alright lets do this, 1,2,3 GO!” The young man seemed to disappear leaving dust where he was standing. He was incredibly fast. The man trimming the bush laughed. Our hero sighed and sat on the bench. He took out a post card from his backpack and wrote, “Dear mom, no ninja’s yet. Doing a lot of walking so at least I am burning some calories.” If only Mark knew that ninja always hid in plain sight…

SnapPost #3 -The story of a porcupine and tacos

Some nouns used in this story

Some nouns used in this story

The below is written for the weekly challenge. I asked friends for some random nouns (underlined in this story) and created a story out of them. Let me know what you think!
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He had been hiding in a corner of the ceiling in the library for a long time. Yes, Yoshi the ninja porcupine was on yet another mission, awaiting his prey. But as highly trained as he was he couldn’t help but be distracted by the man rocking on WhatsApp screenhis chair at the table just below him. This man was a piece of work, sitting there with his hat on skew on purpose, visible armpit sweat stains on his shirt and a wristwatch that ticked so loudly it drove Yoshi mad. What made it worse was that he kept sneaking pickles out his bag, eating them, licking his fingers and then turning the page of the book he was reading. In a library, what disrespect this man had for other people and public property. One of the things Yoshi hated was disrespect for the rules, second only to dirty books and maybe toe-jam, because that is just gross, filthy human feet, bleeg! Come to think of it Yoshi hated a lot of things, that’s why he became a ninja, and not an artist like his father wanted. Staring at a canvas trying to paint a flower he would hate that. This guy however with his pickles and ticking watch was getting closer and closer to the top of Yoshi’s list right now. Yoshi wanted to wipe him out of existence. The world would be a better place without him, death by a quill to the throat it would be.

But he was on a mission, he had to wait for the man with the apparatus designed to take over people’s minds to show up and stop him from selling it. Operation padlock must succeed! It was just then when the man walked in, the apparatus tucked under his arm. A picture of a kickstand on his t-shirt. Yoshi dropped down right in front of him, quill in hand, “It is time to die fiend!” The man looked Yoshi in the eye and opened his mouth and said “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP” it was at that point that Frank woke up and switched off his alarm and made a mental note not to eat tacos so late at night ever again.

What Is God’s WIll? -The Skit Guys video

A humorous yet practical guide to understanding God’s will.

Love Words -The Skit Guys

Today is our anniversary and so I am going to shamelessly put something a little mooshy up…tell those around you that you love them. I love you dear wife.

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